This was my kitchen table this afternoon. I went on a brisk bright walk with the dog and then got my hair cut this morning. I planned on having the rest of the day as a bit of reset time and by that I meant catching up on chores with the hope of being more on top of things. I ended up subbing that for doing something creative. I feel better for it as well. The weekend was just busy and too full and yesterday I was in town for a big chunk of time running chores. I’m done basically. I feel behind on EVERYTHING in my life. I have blog pieces queued up, other writing, a big list of ideas for patterns to write up, challenges to work through with coding, the home stuff to do from the laundry and cleaning, to the admin and then the life stuff, sorting the imminent birthday of the first born, planning things with friends and family. Everything has that unfinished and overwhelming edge to it. I’m basically underperforming against my own standards ACROSS THE BOARD. I feel like that is life all the time but sometimes it feels much more manageable and I feel much more in control. I currently feel like I’m spinning plates. Badly.
I get more energised when I’ve made progress in something though and I can feel it coming together in my hands, I am so far from the end on this project though. 36 squares is far too many for a four colour square.
I didn’t get a run in which was on the list today after what feels like a long hiatus, but is in fact only a few weeks. I woke up with a crick in my neck and it’s been painful all day but I’m pretty set to pick it up tomorrow. I’m a bit nervous that my knee might start niggling again, but I guess I just have to take that first step again. Anyway, that time again, time for pick up….
As usual – pretty shocking at updating the blog that’s supposed to chart my creative pursuits.
However – here’s some pictures of the new crochet blanket I hooked up after the Brighton Half. It’s made with the Henry pattern in style craft special dk. I cast on… (do you cast on in crochet? Doesn’t sound quite right…) just after I ran, hoping to be at least slightly productive in my race convalescence. Here’s the thing, post run I felt deflated, run down, flat, unhappy, sore, done in <insert any other potential negativity here> I sat on the sofa for two days swapping an ice pack with a hot water bottle interchangeably on my knee. I was bloody grumpy, tired and really fed off I felt so sub but I stitched this super dense make EVERY day. I’d never even stitched herringbone before in crochet although I’m completely converted now…look at that dark grey up there! but I will say it takes ALOT of time. I caught up and watched Tom Hardy in Taboo, which disappointingly I thought was completely terrible (please remember I was very grumpy, maybe it really did in fact earn its IMDB credentials… I doubt it, but should I in future cross paths with TH [God willing] I want it also on record I wasn’t in the best frame of mind throughout viewing). I also finally paid out and got physio on the knee. I will confirm it hurt.
Anyway, the blanket is done. And I’m also potentially out of a bad mood I’ve felt for two weeks. Probably helped by the fact the knee isn’t hurting so much anymore, I’ve been weighing up my total lack of good attitude with some real life awful new stories. It’s actually made me feel worse that I feel so flat when I’m aware enough to understand and appreciate there is so much MORE going on at this particular moment in history. I’ve ripped out the stories that highlighted my inability to find proper perspective and folded them in a pile to keep and bear witness to, but be that as it may, I still wasn’t feeling it yesterday, not enough to stick these photos up. I think it’s all tied up with not having been out for a run since the half, my energy has sunk big time. On the up, I walked the dog today and didn’t come back with a weird gait, so game on, it feels like the tide’s changing.
I’m hitting the gym this week to get started on making my knee and my apparently very weak glutes strong enough to hold my body up running. I’m absolutely determined to run the ‘ultra’ in May – while I can make stuff sitting on the sofa whilst feeling this flat, I feel like parts of my life, namely my interior self, fall apart without the running. Of course I could have yoga’d and I’ve walked through the discomfort but they don’t compare with running. Running is the thing for me. Even if it’s relatively unimpressive ‘mum’ running. I’m missing it. It’s underpinned so many of the good systems I’ve put in place this year and got me out, when I would otherwise stay in. And a disclaimer so we’re all in the loop :: the return to drinking. It’s been a necessary evil. That 20.17 intention has been sent flying.
When I began this blanket at the end of November I was hoping to add one square per evening. This was my background daily project that would grow slowly and on days where it was difficult to fit in crochet be the thing I would at least be getting further with.
As it turned out, with December being as busy as it usually is, this didn’t quite happen. The larger squares can take around half an hour to finish and that sometimes just doesn’t fit at the end of the day. At least two out of seven evenings in the week I generally don’t get anywhere near any kind of evening routine. However I have been plugging away at this. I can usually find at least ten minutes to work on a piece of the puzzle, even if it doesn’t get completed and attached. I love the way that it has come together and the way it lies and gets slowly more substantial.
There are still around 50 individual squares to work up to get it complete, currently I lay it out on my bed in my room every morning when I make the bed and then pick a colour to add and work up a square in the evening but it won’t be long before I’m picking up the whole piece and taking it down to the sofa to work on a mismatched finishing border to bring it all together.
It’s made me want to work on another for all my scraps where every round is at least one colour. That would take a phenomenal amount of time and the idea of all the ends to weave in is slightly daunting but I’ve added it to the potential project list. For now, this looks like it will be the first big project of 2017 to get finished, a really fantastic way to work through ALOT of yarn.