At the start of 2017 I wrote a couple of things on the blog that I was going to try to do with my year. The aim of those things are to put me in a better place by the end of 2017. It’s April and I’ve kept them in mind almost everyday and because of that, everyday try my best to set out to do them. I wanted to set aside time to write code, I know that if I do some everyday I’ll steadily get used to the new syntax. I realise it’s not going to be a skill learned overnight, it needs me to show up for deliberate and regular practice. I have pretty much coded at least 80% of the days in 2017. I haven’t kept proper track but most mornings I am settled in the kitchen at 6 and coding until 7.30 and then I do some later in the day. The other thing I wanted to incorporate into the fabric of my day was meditation. After courses and an intermittent personal practice over the last 5 years I know that when I do manage to ‘sit’ I have a better day. How many times have I meditated this year? Maybe 10 times??? I just wasn’t getting it done. I had it as the practice I was supposed to do after I walked Rocco but there pretty much always seemed like there was something more pressing or attractive to get on with when I got in the door. Part of what I learnt every time I’ve had a meditation ‘binge’ though is that the more consistent you are, the more benefit you get.
The days I meditate I focus better. ALOT better. I’m generally more patient, more productive and much calmer, less anxious and less distracted. I feel like I am a better version of me afterward. Why I don’t then end up doing it everyday just doesn’t make sense. I guess I’m resisting it because I don’t want to be dependent on that one thing. Except that one thing ends up creating more space in my day. It also gives me more ability to do one thing at a time without letting my mind buzz noisily like background static or my thoughts jump chaotically from the past to the future, place to place, never settling on the task at hand.
A few weeks ago over drinks, (I had my first beer of the year – I know – I was supposed to be avoiding drinking, whole other story) headspace came up, the conversation being whether to sign up after the trial or not. It’s been on my radar for ages because it’s constantly referred to on Tim Ferris’ podcast. I’m also wading through Tools of Titans at the moment and I am always reading about another successful person and their meditation practice. So I downloaded it as a way of prompting myself to actually take the time to pause and over the last 9 days I’ve ‘taken 10’ everyday. That’s a record as far as 2017 goes and it feels like a relief for me to have managed to work out a way to practice, this time I’m doing it as soon as I wake up. I also nominated a friend, without his consent (my cousin Tom) to be my accountability. When I’ve sat for a session I drop him a text and for some reason I felt more obligated to do it once I set that up. As it turns out he’s been taking ten too and I get a text back so it’s worked out. I’ve signed up for the year. I know I need this in my life, I like Andy Puddicombe’s voice, I like the vibe and the intention and I see this as a really worthwhile investment in myself. Of course I will let you know if I keep it up.
As for whether I am significantly better as a person, I’ll be honest I did actually explode with fury when I realised I was locked out the house the other day and I’ve just snapped at Ruby for repeating a line from Pokemon for about the twentieth time. I’m not walking round calm and zen, I’m still as highly strung and irritable as before. 9 days have just made me think at least 9 times about what I think about, observe them and let them be with no judgement. I really recommend giving it a try.