As usual – pretty shocking at updating the blog that’s supposed to chart my creative pursuits.
However – here’s some pictures of the new crochet blanket I hooked up after the Brighton Half. It’s made with the Henry pattern in style craft special dk. I cast on… (do you cast on in crochet? Doesn’t sound quite right…) just after I ran, hoping to be at least slightly productive in my race convalescence. Here’s the thing, post run I felt deflated, run down, flat, unhappy, sore, done in <insert any other potential negativity here> I sat on the sofa for two days swapping an ice pack with a hot water bottle interchangeably on my knee. I was bloody grumpy, tired and really fed off I felt so sub but I stitched this super dense make EVERY day. I’d never even stitched herringbone before in crochet although I’m completely converted now…look at that dark grey up there! but I will say it takes ALOT of time. I caught up and watched Tom Hardy in Taboo, which disappointingly I thought was completely terrible (please remember I was very grumpy, maybe it really did in fact earn its IMDB credentials… I doubt it, but should I in future cross paths with TH [God willing] I want it also on record I wasn’t in the best frame of mind throughout viewing). I also finally paid out and got physio on the knee. I will confirm it hurt.
Anyway, the blanket is done. And I’m also potentially out of a bad mood I’ve felt for two weeks. Probably helped by the fact the knee isn’t hurting so much anymore, I’ve been weighing up my total lack of good attitude with some real life awful new stories. It’s actually made me feel worse that I feel so flat when I’m aware enough to understand and appreciate there is so much MORE going on at this particular moment in history. I’ve ripped out the stories that highlighted my inability to find proper perspective and folded them in a pile to keep and bear witness to, but be that as it may, I still wasn’t feeling it yesterday, not enough to stick these photos up. I think it’s all tied up with not having been out for a run since the half, my energy has sunk big time. On the up, I walked the dog today and didn’t come back with a weird gait, so game on, it feels like the tide’s changing.
I’m hitting the gym this week to get started on making my knee and my apparently very weak glutes strong enough to hold my body up running. I’m absolutely determined to run the ‘ultra’ in May – while I can make stuff sitting on the sofa whilst feeling this flat, I feel like parts of my life, namely my interior self, fall apart without the running. Of course I could have yoga’d and I’ve walked through the discomfort but they don’t compare with running. Running is the thing for me. Even if it’s relatively unimpressive ‘mum’ running. I’m missing it. It’s underpinned so many of the good systems I’ve put in place this year and got me out, when I would otherwise stay in. And a disclaimer so we’re all in the loop :: the return to drinking. It’s been a necessary evil. That 20.17 intention has been sent flying.