I ran Brighton Half yesterday. My first event of 2017! I should be basking in glory or something or at least feeling slightly brilliant about it, but in truth I’m on the sofa with a hot water bottle next to the dog watching TV after almost 36 hours of nothing. And I’m pissed off I ran it in the same time to what I did 4 months ago. No real tangible improvement whatsoever – that stings. Apart from making some soup earlier today I’ve done no cooking, no laundry, no housework, no dog walking…. it’s like I’ve had to check out entirely. It’s happened before, I finish something and feel beaten completely flat. If you’re looking for something inspirational here move right along. Today is not the day… this could potentially put you off trying for anything! Sometimes I finish something and feel that rising sense of achievement and happiness, but this time, I’ll be honest, I didn’t enjoy it and I’m pretty relieved I just did it and got it out the way. I’ve done something to my knee and I’m really worried it’s a bit of a problem for everything else I have planned and it pulled down the whole experience.
I wrote a longer detailed piece about it all, the race, those couple of hours, but I read it back and it sounded very much like very self indulgent whinging, which of course it is so I deleted it. Anyway it hurts quite a bit and has made for a very flat couple of days.
However, when you can’t read very much or concentrate on anything you can make something, so I’ve started a new baby blanket today. At least Monday has felt in some way productive.