Just to set the scene of how I’ve started this post. Got the kids to bed, I’m sitting on the sofa, in the dark pretty much, I’ve got Love island on in the background and I’m listening to the TEDIOUS discussion of who is in a love frenzy with who. What a rough show, I’m basically observing a fickle bunch of sex pests with varying levels of filler. Anyway, there’s stuff ALL OVER THE KITCHEN. The shopping got delivered earlier and I DIDN’T PUT IT AWAY! BECAUSE I CAN. (I’ll do it in the morning)
The day started well but has subsequently collapsed a bit, I’ve got a sore arm from going to the doctor and having a lump sliced out of it under local this afternoon. In the waiting room I got blindsided by someone that hadn’t slept for 28 hours. Now, just picking up the laptop reminds me I need to bloody back this thing up and get my development environment sorted. This means going through photos etc… not feeling it.
In any case I’m supposed to be writing the third blog so best get on it. I really don’t know how much longer I can keep this up! Writing everyday, working, trying to be a good person… it’s a push. I knew the last bit of positive feedback I gave as soon as I read the question. I paid for Ruby’s sewing class on Monday and once the payment cleared I emailed: ‘I’d just like to let you know how happy Ruby is when she returns from these classes. Thank you for making them so enjoyable, she absolutely loves them.’
I have made a point of giving compliments for a long time, or feedback – letting someone know I appreciate their effort. I don’t compliment on aesthetics (appearance or material stuff) unless I genuinely like something. I have to believe it if I say it. The other day, I admired the shade of pink someone was wearing and she said ‘you said that last time I wore this.’ Listen…I am consistent!
That said, it’s made me think I should follow up more often if something is good or someone does a great job. I know I always appreciate an email thanking me for my time, for organising something or for making them feel welcome, even though it’s my job and I get paid for it. Yesterday, I turned a letter around in a few hours that an ex member of staff needed to send off to future employers and the smiley face I got back with a thank you did make me feel ever so slightly lighter.
I think, one of the best places I’ve found to repeatedly find people giving positive feedback is at running events. The people who shout ‘you’re doing really well’ when you’re not even half way. The runner that puts a hand on your arm while you’re walking and feeling sick and says, ‘keep it going’, someone who watches you faltering in the distance, catches you up, tells you they’re there for you and promises to stay with you until the end. The group that shout ‘she’s bringing it back!!!!!’ when you leave your mates in the crowd and head into the event with a renewed burst of energy, or the people you run with when you’re in the midst of vast distances, 30 or 40 miles in. At those times you have to be honest, in a way that isn’t always easy in real life and say ‘I’m really struggling here, I hurt all over, you need to talk me out of it because I’m a bit broken.’ and then you’re hit with positivity to raise your game.
What I am absolutely SHIT at is thank you’s. I don’t know if I’m rebelling against a childhood of having to write out thank you cards after birthdays or Christmas but I’m shocking at sending them. I often write them, just don’t send them. Not sure the back story to that, but I’ll hold my hands up, I’m rubbish.
This encouraging and appreciating stuff is necessary and essential in life, to feel like you matter and to make others know that they do. Even the briefest of smiles or the shortest text can lift my day if it’s not going in the right direction. Any positivity steers us all back. Find at least one thing every day to appreciate someone for, and get it out there. To the encouragers! Keep it going…
(I’m journalling from ‘The Year of You” – mainly because I need some kind of prompt to write this so I don’t have to think too much. Ha!)